How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners?
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds
before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look
poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to
attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the
kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appr
opriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send
to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing
me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was
stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed
day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such
behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days
and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer :
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...
(sounds of reloading).
Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?"
Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds
before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look
poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to
attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the
kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appr
opriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send
to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing
me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was
stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed
day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such
behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days
and try to come to a consensus.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Southerner's Answer :
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...
(sounds of reloading).
Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?"
Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
