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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message 'one slice'? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?

Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if
you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot'?

Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs and you get to the top you always think there's still one more step?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?

If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?

Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?

Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?

How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?

Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?

Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no sense in two people remembering the same things right?

Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don't have to live with women?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?
 

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The Fishuation
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5,011 Posts
Very good, here's some more

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of
> natural causes.
>
> Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a
> weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the
> ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
>
> The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
> replacement.
>
> Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
>
> There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
>
> Life is sexually transmitted.
>
> An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
>
> If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who
> said, "Quit while you're ahead?"
>

>
> The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
>
> Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use
> the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
> Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
> nothing.
>
> Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
> about seeing UFOs like they used to?
>
> Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>
> All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
> criticism.
>
> Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
> substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
>
> In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
> weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
>
> Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
> realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
>
> How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
> box to start a campfire?
 

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Administrator
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11,528 Posts
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
Prostitution wasn't the first profession "begging" was......somebody had to ask for it :D :D :D
 
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