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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I sure hope all of you weren't too busy on Christmas EVE to miss the fabuluous NYBass Wrestling Event of the year, on Pay per View only.....

despite the holiday timing , as always, turnout was enormous, and sales worldwide have jumped this event into Super Bowl proportions.....

for those who were not fortunate enought to catch this super sporting event, I have the summary of all the bouts and their results for you here:

1. ECOLOGY FACEOFF TAG TEAM MATCH

Wandy and AKO vs. Senko Sam and Paul Mattie

what a match! despite their nature loving posts here on NyBass.com, Wandy and AKO turned out to be some pretty dirty fighters in the ring! Human instinct always takes over in these NYBass matches! after a series of exciting flying maneuvers and almost pins, the team of Sam and Paul finally won out as Senko Sam raked Wandy's face with a hidden object that the Ref didn't see....his eyes blinded by blood, he was then summarily pinned....although nothing official has been said, and tapes will be reviewed by NyBass hierarchy, patrons in the first row will swear that Senko Sam slammed Wandy across the face with a dead Loon.....normally such an animal would never be enough to stop a wrestler like Wandy, but upon opening it's stomach it was found to be weighted down with several pounds of lead sinkers!!!!

2. TEXAS GRUDGE MATCH

WILD BILL HOPPIN' MAD HOLZAFEL vs WOODY

love these grudge matches, especially texas style rules with no disqualifcations......since all rules were banned, numerous dirty tactics were employed and "hidden" objects were now flaunted at will! Nothing nice about salt in the eyes and Bill was rubbing those yammie products not only into Woody's eyes but down his throat! Woody countered with every secret and tactic he has ever lifted or coerced from other NyBass members!! Finally, the one thing that could muck up one of these death matches happened....Time ran out and the Woodrow/Wild Man brawl ended in a draw!!!

3. BATTLE FOR MAHOPAC SUPREMACY

Pat the XMAN vs TTONY!!!!

it had to happen!!!!! who has really gotten better and is the master of Maho??? This one had it all! no stone was uncovered, no secret spots unused......a knock down drag em' out battle that seemingly would go on forever......however, in another extremely unpopular with the crowd decision, we had another draw as the match was interrupted by McDonald Sr. of the Marina who insisted that he should receive some sort of compensation for this match!!!

4. BATTLE OF THE SUPER HEAVYWEIGHTS!

DODGEGUY vs TUBEKING!

an epic in the making.....the ring actually had to be further supported underneath to stand the pressure of these two battlin' behemoths!!! 600 total pounds of ring slammin' fury unleashed for all of us to see!

this time the crowd did get a decision and a pin, as just when it seemed no one could get the full advantage, Dodgeguy was distracted by of all people, his wife, who was constantly nagging him from the front row, the one second that he finally turned to yell back at her was all the time that Dennis needed to apply his finishing hold: the Tsunami splash!!!

Proceeds for the winner are being held up as NyState Disability Agents are investigating how Tubeking could possibly do this match and assorted other tasks with his "supposed" bad back!!!!!

5. TOP RESERVOIR DOG SHOOTOUT!!!

MARK 'MULTI-BOAT' BASSERACHI AND HIS PARTNER, MARK 'ON OTHERS MULTI-BOAT" G

vs..

RONNIE BASSSTALKER AND PISTOL PETE L!!!!

talk about a wild tag team match! guys who row for 8 hours are always some of the best participants in these kinds of stamina matches.....this one had no time limit! and the crowd was treated to a series of incredible moves and maneuvers, and a seeming stalemate....then suddenly, several suspicious bent nose well dressed gentlemen with music cases moved into the front row....unfortunately for Mark G, (Gustavson), the only non paisano participant in the match, he was disturbed to all hell, while the other gobba-gools continued as always...the distraction proved his downfall as Pete applied his devastating "are you talking to me " hold and held on for the machine gun pin!!!!

6. ESBA LAST MAN STANDING BATTLE ROYALE!!!!

what would be a pay per view event without an evening closing battle royale!!! and what better group of individuals than the members of ESBA, as this motley crew turned their acrimony into a vicious kick-arse free for all!!! being thown over the top rope and out of the ring disqualifies you, and last man standing is crowned the champ with braggin' rights!!!

as expected, Earthworm and Robbie Northbass were working together, despite the format and summarily tossing people out of that ring one by one! bodies flying over the ropes into the hard concrete floor...a MikeD here, a Frank Broadbent there, a Chris Chance here, a Barry Turano there....what a mess!!! so much blood on the floor it was getting hard for this reporter to move around the outside of the ring and stay apace of the action! as this event was open to all members, past and present, it was full of emotion and drama, not unlike an ESBA monthly meeting!!! finally it was just Earthy and Robbie against the surprise entrant, Paul Hooked Solid Ritchie, who qualified on the basis of his unlikely teaming with Earthy in the Annual Charity event in the fall! as their bodies slammed and writhed in agony together, at the height of the melee Robbie actually lost his wrestling tights!!! Now normally this would prove a costly distraction to most combatants, however, Robbie is so used to being naked in Public that it didn't slow him down a bit!!! Yet, it still proved to be the turning point of the event, because with his tights gone, his famous hidden object, a huge STICK, was no longer available!!! And in his confusion looking for it, Ritchie slammed him into Earthy at full force and the two of them , together, locked in a helpless embrace, were catapulted over the top rope and to defeat!!!!

as Paul was awarded his Prize, protests were already being filed by various ESBA members, questioning his eligibility, however, as rule bending and waivering is a normal part of the ESBA family, this shouldn't effect the final outcome of this match!!!!!

BUT THE CROWD WOULDN'T GO AWAY!! THEY INSISTED UPON ANOTHER MATCH!!!!

fortunately, NyBAss wrestling always has a backup in the wings in case of last minute cancellations and so one more Tag Team was thrown out there:

7. TOURNEY vs NON TOURNEY BRAGGIN' RIGHTS FINALE!

GREGG the hit man LEVY and JOHN the mouth G vs.

Mitch PALLADIN and his partner, NICKY 'the Godfather' Albano!!!!!!


with each man bringing his closest confidante with him, this battle started out fueled by months of taunting and sniping on the boards!!! Gregg, bulked up , from the numerous Dunkin' Donut stopovers before and after fishing with John G was really holding his own weight.....the well trained team of Nicky and Mitch were their usual coordinated best....and John G, unfortunately, was taking every opportunity to pose before the cameras!!! apparently weakened from weeks of dieting, John G succumbed to Palladins famous submission hold, the SLOW JIG!!! swore JOHN G: next year will be different, even if I have to break my diet!!!


so that's it folks, a night of mayhem and masterwork, brought to you by the greatest wrestling federation in the world, the NYBass.com!!!!

until next year, this reporter is signing out!!!!!
 

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John,
A Christmass year ending "CLASSIC MATCH" from you as usual!!! Hey John, a "helpless embrace" with Earthy and I???? Are you implying a bit a Homosexuality??? On Crhistmas no less!!! Love you, and all the guys here on N.Y.B.A.S.S.!!!! Thanks to you and Mike also on the site! Keep it real... Rob
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
NAHHHHH....Robbie, just poking fun as usual.....that match was inspired by Earthy's fantastic article on the wormhole where he ripped you a new one! LOL....

all the best to you and your lovely wife and child!!!
 

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Rule bending....gayness?

Actually, Rob helped me put it together. Without him actually admitting to the follies, we never would have had an article. Far from ripping my pal a new one!
 

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I think that our beloved TYRANT had just a bit too much of the ole EGG NOG last night.
 

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man , you have waaaaayyyyyyyyy too much time on your hands. :D :D :D :D :D :D

Merry Christmas GRANDPA!!!!!
 

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What else can be said about John's sudden burst of creative genius? I think Pete said it best.

LOL John! Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!

Mark
 

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John,
That was hilarious, LMAO !!! :D

Ronnie
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
when I do these wrestling things on here, they are nothing more than a roast....as such, they are obviously exagerrated...they are based, however, on various spats and disagreements that pop up on the board throughout the year....for those that have followed the board all year, they are simply making fun and light of our occasional arguments.....meant to be tongue in cheek all the way!
 

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The NYBASS -" The Thrillas of "Vanillas' "

JohnG....you had me howlin with laughter...
Thanks for the laughs!!! [and all else you do, too]
 

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this should be in off-topics john...lol!

i just have one thing to say regarding this literary outburst from johnG: BRILLIANT!.... i forgot how funny last year's installment was! ROFLMAO!!!!

between the PPV wrestling match and the holiday photo, christmas will always be a welcome time at NYBASS!

:beerchug: :beerchug: :beerchug:
 

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John (AKA "Sausages")

I am still waiting for my appearance check for even showing up at your wrestling gala! I'll have my people contact your people one more time.
 

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figures my wife would screw me up again!!!!
 
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