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Rules to being a True Yankee Fan
Rules to be a Yankee Fan
1. It's important to point out past post-season success as often as possible. However, if anyone points out anything in the past that doesn't reflect positively on the Yankees, then argue that it happened in the past and doesn't matter now. For example, it is okay to point out that the Yankees beat the Mariners in the 2000 ALCS. However, if anyone points out that the Mariners beat the Yankees in the 1995 ALDs, then argue that it happened in the past and doesn't matter.
2. Nothing in the regular season matters, unless it's favorable to the Yankees. For example, Roger Clemens is 10-7 this year. However,if anyone points out that the Red Sox have beaten Clemens twice this year, respond by saying, "Regular Season doesn't mean crap". Regular Season wins and losses are especially irrelevant, unless you are referring to the 1998 Yankees.
3. Statistics are for losers. Whenever someone posts a statistic that you find confusing, quickly point out that the Yankees have won 26 World Championships
4. If anyone accuses the Yankees of "buying" their championships, argue that Jeter, B Williams, Pettitte, Soriano, Rivera, and Posada are all home-grown talent. Then, hope that nobody notices that this represents only 6 out of 25 players, and hope they don't bring up Clemens, Mussina, Hitchcock, Witasik, Wohlers, Stanton, Martinez, Sojo, Knoblauch, O'Neill, Brosius, Justice, Lilly etc.
5. Whenever you argue with a Red Sox fan, always bring up 1918. This is supposed to infuriate them and before they respond, you can point out that the Yankees have won 26 championships. See Rule #1
6. Statistics and records are never as important as name recognition. Statistics should always be dismissed unless they are favorable to the Yankees. For example, Roger Clemens is 10-7, but some guy out from Seatle, Joel Pineiro, I think his name is, is 13-5 but that doesn't matter because well-known names are always better than any statistic. If anyone argues with that, see Rule #2.
7. Defend Derek Jeter and Roger Clemens at all costs. Resort to childish name calling and threats of violence if necessary.
8. All other fans of all other teams are bandwagon fans. Nobody has a more loyal, more dedicated following than the Yankees. If a team is hot, or is playing well, call that team's fans bandwagoner's. Then point out how many championships the Yankees have won. See Rule #1.
9. The Yankees are the Defending World Champions until baseball adopts a policy forbidding them to play in the post-season. Such a policy will never exist, because George Steinbrenner vehemently opposes anything that doesn't directly contribute to the success of the Yankees, so therefore, the Yankees will forever be the Defending World Champions. If another teams wins the championship, then it was because of cheating, bias umpires and luck.
10. Logic, Humility, Reason, Tact and Class should be avoided at all times. After all you are the Yankees.

Rules to be a Yankee Fan
1. It's important to point out past post-season success as often as possible. However, if anyone points out anything in the past that doesn't reflect positively on the Yankees, then argue that it happened in the past and doesn't matter now. For example, it is okay to point out that the Yankees beat the Mariners in the 2000 ALCS. However, if anyone points out that the Mariners beat the Yankees in the 1995 ALDs, then argue that it happened in the past and doesn't matter.
2. Nothing in the regular season matters, unless it's favorable to the Yankees. For example, Roger Clemens is 10-7 this year. However,if anyone points out that the Red Sox have beaten Clemens twice this year, respond by saying, "Regular Season doesn't mean crap". Regular Season wins and losses are especially irrelevant, unless you are referring to the 1998 Yankees.
3. Statistics are for losers. Whenever someone posts a statistic that you find confusing, quickly point out that the Yankees have won 26 World Championships
4. If anyone accuses the Yankees of "buying" their championships, argue that Jeter, B Williams, Pettitte, Soriano, Rivera, and Posada are all home-grown talent. Then, hope that nobody notices that this represents only 6 out of 25 players, and hope they don't bring up Clemens, Mussina, Hitchcock, Witasik, Wohlers, Stanton, Martinez, Sojo, Knoblauch, O'Neill, Brosius, Justice, Lilly etc.
5. Whenever you argue with a Red Sox fan, always bring up 1918. This is supposed to infuriate them and before they respond, you can point out that the Yankees have won 26 championships. See Rule #1
6. Statistics and records are never as important as name recognition. Statistics should always be dismissed unless they are favorable to the Yankees. For example, Roger Clemens is 10-7, but some guy out from Seatle, Joel Pineiro, I think his name is, is 13-5 but that doesn't matter because well-known names are always better than any statistic. If anyone argues with that, see Rule #2.
7. Defend Derek Jeter and Roger Clemens at all costs. Resort to childish name calling and threats of violence if necessary.
8. All other fans of all other teams are bandwagon fans. Nobody has a more loyal, more dedicated following than the Yankees. If a team is hot, or is playing well, call that team's fans bandwagoner's. Then point out how many championships the Yankees have won. See Rule #1.
9. The Yankees are the Defending World Champions until baseball adopts a policy forbidding them to play in the post-season. Such a policy will never exist, because George Steinbrenner vehemently opposes anything that doesn't directly contribute to the success of the Yankees, so therefore, the Yankees will forever be the Defending World Champions. If another teams wins the championship, then it was because of cheating, bias umpires and luck.
10. Logic, Humility, Reason, Tact and Class should be avoided at all times. After all you are the Yankees.