Posted
by JOHN G on 2002 AM:
JOHN G's CHRISTMAS
ROAST!!!! LOL....
For those of you who
could not attend last night's WWF Wrestling Spectacular featuring all
NyBass.com members, all proceeds going to the bankruptcy proceeding of Hover
Lure Manufacturers, I will give you the results and sypopsis
of the major events:
1. For the WWF TAGTEAM Championship:
Earthworm and Northbass vs
Travis and AKO
result: draw
"in an unusual event, instead of having to hold on to the rope at each
corner, instead, each partner was joined by the rope to each other's hips, and
because of the awkwardness, neither team was able to effectively pin the other
and time ran out"
2. JOHN G vs MR JIG in a Brewers Death Match!
result: draw
"this became a contest of wills as each combatant was trying to apply
their favorite hold, the slow brewers technique , however, with each one trying
to "out-slow" the other, in a landmark event, both the contestants
and the entire audience fell asleep, and when the ref woke up he declared a
draw"
3. Plastic Pourers
contestants: Tom Kail, Earthworm,
result: winner: Masked Wonder
" in an electrifying event that stunned the crowd, all bedlam broke
loose!! Earthworm was the first to be tossed from the ring, as he was still
exhausted from dragging around Northbass at the hip
from the previous event. Tom Kail and Frank collided
at one point with such force that they both went over the top rope
together...finally as Todd Miller squared off with the mysterious Masked
Wonder, while the referee was distracted by the Wonder's manager, the Wonder
pulled out a hidden object and clubbed Miller so hard he propelled over the top
rope giving the Wonder the victory...the object was never recovered but backstage
rumors had it that the hidden object was none other than the original Mizmo Tube mold!!"
4. Nicky the Bass Rat vs Rich Johnson
result: winner, Bass Rat via disqualification
" in a protracted match in which neither opponent could get enough verbal
leverage, it came to a grinding halt when Johnson smashed a 10 foot surf rod
over the Rat's head, causing thousands of graphite splinters to shoot into the
front row seats. Although disqualified, Johnson was clearly a crowd favorite
for this audacious rule violation!"
5. Maho FACEOFF: Ray Scully vs
PAT X
result: winner Ray Scully
" as both of these evenly matched opponents battled for superiority, the
match ended in a painful conclusion for the X-Man, as Scully slapped on his
famous SHALLOW JIG BITE, which is one of the deadliest submission holds in the
WWF. Quoted the X-Man: 'I was not able to apply my submission hold, the DEEP
WATER BITE in time!'"
6. BATTLE OF THE SEXES!!
Fred the Once Bitten vs the Blond Bomber MEG!
result: draw
" in a history shattering WWF match, a cross-sex spectacular as NY STate relaxed it's rules and allowed a vengeance match
between Fred and Meg for all the marbles!! in one of the bloodiest and nastiest
events other, they battled to a draw while 20, 000 fans were screaming wild and
also fighing in the stands as the battle of the sexes
spilled out into all of the aisles! rumor has it , they "made-up"
backstage after the event!!
7. WNY STeel CAGE Match!!
Noel vs RobJ
result: winner RobJ via submission
" in one of the most unusal endings ever in a
WWF event, RobJ was able to best the formidable NOEL
without even laying a hand on him!!! because they were locked into the steel
cage with no way out, Rob simply talked his opponent to death! as EMT techs
rushed into the cage to revive NOEL, they were finally able to bring him to
with numerous "clears!!", however, he was in no condition to continue
the match and RobJ was declared the winner by
submission"
8.
Senko Baron Jeff vs Hugefish
result: Senko Baron victorious
" in another unusual match, the entire event took place on the edges of
the ring outside the ropes as this was a comfortable spot for these famous
shore waders.....hampered by neoprene waders, the match proceeded at a snail's
pace but could have been won by Hugefish , as he had
a golden opportunity to slap on the deadly SENKO DROP, however, because of his
stubborn and foolish refusal to use the hold, he was one-upped by the Baron who
had no problem applying the hold, the only one that he knows!!"
Well, those were the main events, and the good news is that the proceeds did
indeed prevent the bankruptcy of Hover Lures..
A good time was had by all....try to make next years event!!!
JOHN G
( yes, this is definitely, and intentionally, and facetiously a joke, nothing
but love and friendship to all of the "contestants" in this humorous
post!)
__________________
"and a new Commandment I shall give you.....that you shall love one
another"
---------------------------------
> email
- DrBass2@aol.com
> Forum Moderator aka:
Head Honcho
---------------------------------
Quote: "coming
soon"
---------------------------------
Posted
by HugeFish4 on 2002 AM:
John, c'mon! I would have
raked a Cavitron across Baron's skull, and then
employed my deadly Powerbait Stink hold. To top it
off, I would then stuff Snoozer Tubes down his throat
until he vomited up all his deep hooked Senko's. To finish him off, I would
have to take my cheap Ugly Stik out of mothball and
whip the fiberglass tip into all of his overpriced GLX's
and gut hook him with my Poe's 300 series crankbait.
Bottom Line - I win!!!!!!! LOL!
__________________
FishON! 
My Home Page
Posted
by Bassin Dude on 2002 AM:
ROTFLMAO!
__________________
Tony
"As my own fishing seasons wind down to a
precious few, it's nice to know I'll be there, be there as long as I can. As
long as I can bait a hook and make a cast, as long as I am living, I intend to
be fishing."
-Ron Schara
Posted
by Pete L on 2002 AM:
John- Can`t
wait for the fishing to start again!!!
YOU HAVE WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GREAT POST!!
Congratulations to all the contestants
Pete
__________________
Pete LaFemina
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and
"mental illness."
Posted
by mikeD in NYC on 2002 PM:
ROFLMAO!!...brilliant and
hysterical!...just lay it all out there man!...NYBASS in 2003! ...WOOHOO!...dammit john, you forgot to call the NYBTV crew for video
coverage!...i'm gonna check
SPORTSWIRE for photos
__________________
Mike D in NYC
Webmaster NYBI
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
check out your NYBASS buddies at: NYBASS_ILLUSTRATED
---------------------------------
Posted
by mikeD in NYC on 2002 PM:
i found a photo on SPORTSWIRE, but i'm not sure if it is from the same event...john, was dodgeguy there?...this guy sure looks like him.
__________________
Mike D in NYC
Webmaster NYBI
---------------------------------
---------------------------------
check out your NYBASS buddies at: NYBASS_ILLUSTRATED
---------------------------------
Posted
by wnybassman on 2002 PM:
Maybe John's famous shirt
was originally white, but stained with mustard gas. It could explain a few things!!
__________________
Bassman's
Thread of the Web - A Look at WNY's Bass
Fishing
-
Protection and organization of your rods
"Perhaps God gave the answers, to those with nothing to say" -
Savatage
Posted
by Scully on 2002 PM:
lots of laughs....
John
Me thinks you have been hitting the "egg nog"
a little to heavily this Holiday Season.
Scul
Posted
by Gregg on 2002 PM:
Funny
It must be WINTER!!!
__________________
Gregg
Posted
by Rob J in WNY on 2002 PM:
Hmmmmmm......
Merry Christmas. Happy
Holidays. Bass fishing.
John, you are WEIRD, buddy... 
Merry Christmas...
P.S. Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines...
Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines...
Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines...
Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines... Tight Lines...
Tight Lines...
__________________
"Have Smallies - will travel!" 
Bass Fishing
in WNY - A Personal View
> email
- RobJinWNY@hotmail.com
Posted
by Bassin Dude on 2002 PM:
Rob J is in da house
__________________
Tony
"As my own fishing seasons wind down to a
precious few, it's nice to know I'll be there, be there as long as I can. As
long as I can bait a hook and make a cast, as long as I am living, I intend to
be fishing."
-Ron Schara
Posted
by JOHN G on 2002 PM:
Rob J: see, what did I
tell you! LOL..... no eggnog, just a little playfulness...
Mike: Dodge was apparently in one of the lesser events! LOL..
had a wonderful Christmas EVE with family, hope tomorrow will be just as nice..
JOHN G
__________________
"and a new Commandment I shall give you.....that you shall love one
another"
---------------------------------
> email
- DrBass2@aol.com
> Forum Moderator aka:
Head Honcho
---------------------------------
Quote: "coming
soon"
---------------------------------
Posted
by dodgeguy on 2002 PM:
that's me before i got married and fat!!!
__________________
chrysler master technician and avid fisherman
Posted
by OnceBitten on 2002 PM:
I must object.
John, I would never hit a
woman.
And believe me I've had PLENTY of reasons to over the years! After all, they
NEVER F***ING LISTEN!
Pimp Daddy
Posted
by BARRY on 2002 PM:
And I thought I was a
little left of center. Compared to you I'M NORMAL (which to be perfectly honest
is not possible). great laugher John.
Barry
__________________
Hello I must be going.
Posted
by Northbass on 2002 PM:
Dodge,
I don't know which is more frightening the hair or the face!!!!! LOL!!
Posted
by Meg on 2002 PM:
Hey John, Nice Read!
But in all honesty, we
know it would not be a draw... I would win!
Thanks for making me laugh!
And Freddie, it's easier to get them to listen if they are old enough to READ!
Posted
by earthworm77 on 2002 AM:
Beaten over the head with
a Mizmo tube mold....ouch!!!
__________________
www.micromunchtackle.com
Posted
by Scott C on 2003 PM:
Been away for a while and
just saw this...............Damn it was funny !!!
John.......you need to open the windows in the house more often and get the
carbon dioxide out !!
Are the lakes really THAT unfishable up by you ? LOL
__________________
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Spawn till you die
ESBA